Remember back in high school when somebody would say "you suck," this would set into action a long battle of dirty verb bashing and each comeback would be more vulgar than the last?
A: You suck!
B: You slurp!
A: You swallow!
B: You regurgitate!
A: You suck, then slurp, then swallow, then regurgitate- You get the picture, right?
Everyone always wanted the last word in these battles. If you had no comebacks left, it was almost as if this confirmed the truth behind your opponent's insult.
As I ate lunch with my fellow teachers today, I was reminded of the dirty verb bashing from my adolescent past. For the first few minutes, everyone was silent as they ate a few mouthfuls of kimchi. Then, the silence was broken. SLURP! SLURP! SLURP! It was a chain reaction after that initial slurp. I looked around me and every teacher was slurping up their noodles in broth. I was sitting amongst a group of human noodle vacuums. I remember shuddering. That wasn't the worst part though. It suddenly dawned on me that I was participating in the slurp-age!!!
I have never been a fan of eating sound effects. I fight back vomit when I watch those commercials that show a person biting into a crunchy chocolate bar or when I'm sitting in a restaurant and the person at the table next to me is chewing his food in a way that makes a loud slapping noise (I have a friend who named this noise, "jap jap"). However, being in Korea for 6 months has transformed me into a slurper! I'm not sure when or how this happened but the fact remains that I slurp now.
I suppose that any future dirty verb bashing that I engage in won't go very far.
Me: You suck!
Opponent: You slurp!
Me: I do...you win :(
Then, I will hang my head in shame.
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